The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (complete) – [En]


Rule of Acquisition 001: Once you have their money, you never give it back.
Rule of Acquisition 002: The best deal is the one that makes the most profit.
Rule of Acquisition 003: Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to.
Rule of Acquisition 004: A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen.
Rule of Acquisition 005: Always exaggerate your estimates.
Rule of Acquisition 006: Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
Rule of Acquisition 007: Keep your ears open.
Rule of Acquisition 008: Small print leads to large risk.
Rule of Acquisition 009: Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
Rule of Acquisition 010: Greed is eternal.
Rule of Acquisition 011: Even if it’s free, you can always buy it cheaper.
Rule of Acquisition 012: Anything worth selling is worth selling twice.
Rule of Acquisition 013: Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
Rule of Acquisition 014: Keep your family close, keep your Latinum closer.
Rule of Acquisition 015: Dead men close no deals.
Rule of Acquisition 016: A deal is a deal… until a better one comes along.
Rule of Acquisition 017: A contract is a contract is a contract… but only between Ferengi.
Rule of Acquisition 018: A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
Rule of Acquisition 019: Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
Rule of Acquisition 020: Only give money to people you know you can steal from.
Rule of Acquisition 021: Never place friendship above profit.
Rule of Acquisition 022: A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
Rule of Acquisition 023: Nothing is more important than your health… except for your money.
Rule of Acquisition 024: Latinum can’t buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it.
Rule of Acquisition 025: There’s always a way out.
Rule of Acquisition 026: As the customers go, so goes the wise profiteer.
Rule of Acquisition 027: There is nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
Rule of Acquisition 028: Whisper your way to success.
Rule of Acquisition 029: What’s in it for me ?
Rule of Acquisition 030: A wise man knows that confidentiality equals profit.
Rule of Acquisition 031: Never make fun of a Ferengi’s mother.
Rule of Acquisition 032: Insult something he cares about.
Rule of Acquisition 033: It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
Rule of Acquisition 034: War is good for business.
Rule of Acquisition 035: Peace is good for business.
Rule of Acquisition 036: Neutrality is good for business.
Rule of Acquisition 037: If it’s free, take it and worry about hidden costs later.
Rule of Acquisition 038: Everyone needs something.
Rule of Acquisition 039: Friendship is temporary; profit is forever.
Rule of Acquisition 040: She can touch your lobes, but never your latinum.
Rule of Acquisition 041: Profit is its own reward.
Rule of Acquisition 042: What’s mine is mine, and what’s yours is mine too.
Rule of Acquisition 043: Feed your greed, but not enough to choke it.
Rule of Acquisition 044: Never confuse wisdom with luck.
Rule of Acquisition 045: Ambition knows no family.
Rule of Acquisition 046: Make your shop easy to find.
Rule of Acquisition 047: Never trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
Rule of Acquisition 048: The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
Rule of Acquisition 049: Everything is worth something to somebody.
Rule of Acquisition 050: Gratitude can bring on generosity.
Rule of Acquisition 051: Reward anyone who adds to your profits so they will continue to do so.
Rule of Acquisition 052: Never ask when you can take.
Rule of Acquisition 053: Never trust anybody taller than you.
Rule of Acquisition 054: Rate divided by time equals profit.
Rule of Acquisition 055: Take joy from profit, and profit from joy.
Rule of Acquisition 056: Be discreet.
Rule of Acquisition 057: Good customers are as rare as Latinum. Treasure them.
Rule of Acquisition 058: There is no substitute for success.
Rule of Acquisition 059: Free advice is seldom cheap.
Rule of Acquisition 060: Keep your lies consistent.
Rule of Acquisition 061: Never underestimate the power of bribery.
Rule of Acquisition 062: The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
Rule of Acquisition 063: Work is the best therapy-at least for your employees.
Rule of Acquisition 064: You don’t need a store front to set up shop.
Rule of Acquisition 065: Win or lose, there’s always Hupyrian beetle snuff.
Rule of Acquisition 066: Double the price, then sell it half off.
Rule of Acquisition 067: Always inspect the merchandise.
Rule of Acquisition 068: Ear stroking will get you anything.
Rule of Acquisition 069: Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.
Rule of Acquisition 070: Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other Ferengi.
Rule of Acquisition 071: Close the deal, and then answer questions.
Rule of Acquisition 072: Never trust your customers.
Rule of Acquisition 073: If it gets you profit, sell your own mother.
Rule of Acquisition 074: Knowledge equals profit.
Rule of Acquisition 075: Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum.
Rule of Acquisition 076: Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
Rule of Acquisition 077: It’s better to swallow your pride than to lose your profit.
Rule of Acquisition 078: When the going gets tough, the tough change the Rules.
Rule of Acquisition 079: Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
Rule of Acquisition 080: Greed is known by many names.
Rule of Acquisition 081: There’s a difference between being a coward and running away.
Rule of Acquisition 082: The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
Rule of Acquisition 083: Even the wealth of the Nagus started with one slip of Latinum.
Rule of Acquisition 084: A friend is not a friend if he asks for a discount.
Rule of Acquisition 085: Never let the competition know what you’re thinking.
Rule of Acquisition 086: When the odds are against you never give up; just quit.
Rule of Acquisition 087: A friend in need means three times the profit.
Rule of Acquisition 088: It ain’t over ’til its over.
Rule of Acquisition 089: Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
Rule of Acquisition 090: The Divine Treasury awaits.
Rule of Acquisition 091: Hear all, trust nothing.
Rule of Acquisition 092: There are many paths to profit.
Rule of Acquisition 093: Act without delay! The sharp knife cuts quickly.
Rule of Acquisition 094: Females and finances don’t mix.
Rule of Acquisition 095: Expand or die.
Rule of Acquisition 096: For every Rule, there is an equal and opposite Rule, (except when there’s not).
Rule of Acquisition 097: Enough…… is never enough.
Rule of Acquisition 098: Every man has his price.
Rule of Acquisition 099: Trust is the biggest liability of all.
Rule of Acquisition 100: If they take your first offer, you either asked too little or offered too much.
Rule of Acquisition 101: The only value of a collectible is what you can get somebody else to pay for it.
Rule of Acquisition 102: Nature decays, but Latinum lasts forever.
Rule of Acquisition 103: Sleep can interfere with your lust for Latinum.
Rule of Acquisition 104: Faith moves mountains… of inventory.
Rule of Acquisition 105: Don’t trust anyone who trusts you.
Rule of Acquisition 106: There is no honor in poverty.
Rule of Acquisition 107: A warranty is valid only if they can find you.
Rule of Acquisition 109: Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
Rule of Acquisition 110: Exploitation begins at home.
Rule of Acquisition 111: Treat people in your debt like family… exploit them.
Rule of Acquisition 112: Never have sex with the boss’s sister.
Rule of Acquisition 113: Always have sex with the boss.
Rule of Acquisition 114: The one in power defines morality.
Rule of Acquisition 115: The best contract always has a lot of fine print.
Rule of Acquisition 116: There’s always a catch.
Rule of Acquisition 117: Profit is the better part of valor.
Rule of Acquisition 118: There is no profit in revenge.
Rule of Acquisition 119: Never judge a customer by the size of his wallet, sometimes, good things come in small packages.
Rule of Acquisition 120: Borrow on a handshake, lend in writing.
Rule of Acquisition 121: Everything is for sale, even friendship.
Rule of Acquisition 122: Do not forsake your profits and they will watch over you.
Rule of Acquisition 123: Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
Rule of Acquisition 124: Diligent hands bring wealth.
Rule of Acquisition 125: You can’t make a deal if you’re dead.
Rule of Acquisition 126: Count it.
Rule of Acquisition 127: Stay neutral in conflict so that you can sell supplies to both sides.
Rule of Acquisition 135: Never trust a beneficiary.
Rule of Acquisition 128: Secrets are commodities, sell them.
Rule of Acquisition 129: The fear of poverty is the beginning of knowledge.
Rule of Acquisition 130: Never pay for sentiment, always charge for it.
Rule of Acquisition 131: Information is profit.
Rule of Acquisition 132: Never take no from someone who wasn’t authorized to give you yes.
Rule of Acquisition 133: Only those ideas that lead to profit are good.
Rule of Acquisition 134: One good turn requires another.
Rule of Acquisition 135: Never trust a beneficiary.
Rule of Acquisition 136: Seek profit first and everything else will follow.
Rule of Acquisition 137: Everything is negotiable.
Rule of Acquisition 138: Wealth brings satisfaction.
Rule of Acquisition 139: Wives serve, brothers inherit.
Rule of Acquisition 140: Better great treasure with trouble than peace with poverty.
Rule of Acquisition 141: Only fools pay retail.
Rule of Acquisition 142: There’s no such thing as an unfair advantage.
Rule of Acquisition 143: Risk is part of the game… play it for all it’s worth.
Rule of Acquisition 144: There’s nothing wrong with charity… as long as it winds up in your pocket.
Rule of Acquisition 145: A little and often fills your pockets.
Rule of Acquisition 146: Necessity is the mother of invention. Profit is the father.
Rule of Acquisition 147: People love the bartender.
Rule of Acquisition 148: Wealth enables experience.
Rule of Acquisition 149: Profit is encouragement to industry and enterprise.
Rule of Acquisition 150: The way to become rich is to put all your Latinum in one sack, then watch the sack.
Rule of Acquisition 151: The man is richest who’s pleasures are cheapest.
Rule of Acquisition 152: A lie is a way to tell the truth to someone who doesn’t know.
Rule of Acquisition 153: Sell the sizzle, not the steak.
Rule of Acquisition 154: Pain passes, but profits remain.
Rule of Acquisition 155: Power is 50% what you have and 50% what people think you have.
Rule of Acquisition 156: Rainy days are good for business.
Rule of Acquisition 157: Common sense is the collection of the customer’s prejudices.
Rule of Acquisition 158: The first principle of a rigid businessman is to always be flexible.
Rule of Acquisition 159: There are no creeds in mathematics.
Rule of Acquisition 160: Happiness is not mere possession of profit, but joy of acquisition.
Rule of Acquisition 161: Beyond the mountains there are more mountains.
Rule of Acquisition 162: Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.
Rule of Acquisition 163: When a friend makes profit, you don’t.
Rule of Acquisition 164: Life does not guarantee equality of conditions, only of opportunity.
Rule of Acquisition 165: Never let your sense of morals get in the way of opportunity.
Rule of Acquisition 166: The success of any great transaction does not depend on odds.
Rule of Acquisition 167: Earning is not only a duty it’s a privilege.
Rule of Acquisition 168: Whisper your way to success.
Rule of Acquisition 169: Competition and fair play are mutually exclusive.
Rule of Acquisition 170: The hand that feeds could be bitten.
Rule of Acquisition 171: Blood is thicker than water, and Latinum is thicker than both.
Rule of Acquisition 172: Chances aren’t what they used to be.
Rule of Acquisition 173: Dream, plan, believe, act.
Rule of Acquisition 174: If you can’t buy it, find someone who can.
Rule of Acquisition 175: Gratitude is expensive.
Rule of Acquisition 176: The wind always favors the best navigator.
Rule of Acquisition 177: Know your enemies… but do business with them always.
Rule of Acquisition 178: Power, leisure, and liberty are all words for profit.
Rule of Acquisition 179: Opportunity may bring profit, friendship rarely does.
Rule of Acquisition 180: Never discuss an opportunity with someone wealthier than you.
Rule of Acquisition 181: Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
Rule of Acquisition 182: The cost for profit is never too high.
Rule of Acquisition 183: When life hands you ungaberries, make detergent.
Rule of Acquisition 184: A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.
Rule of Acquisition 185: Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.
Rule of Acquisition 186: There is no security, only opportunity.
Rule of Acquisition 187: The philosophy of one is the common sense of another.
Rule of Acquisition 188: A fool and his money is the best customer.
Rule of Acquisition 189: Let others keep their reputation. You keep their latinum.
Rule of Acquisition 190: Hear all, trust nothing.
Rule of Acquisition 191: A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.
Rule of Acquisition 192: Never cheat a Klingon… unless you can get away with it.
Rule of Acquisition 193: Trouble comes in threes.
Rule of Acquisition 194: It’s always good to know about new customers before they walk in your door.
Rule of Acquisition 195: You can’t jump a 20 foot gorge in two 10 foot jumps.
Rule of Acquisition 196: Listen to advice; then do what you want anyway.
Rule of Acquisition 197: Pick battles big enough to matter, but small enough to win.
Rule of Acquisition 198: You can’t shake hands with a fist.
Rule of Acquisition 199: Location, location, location.
Rule of Acquisition 200: If you’re going to have to endure, make yourself comfortable.
Rule of Acquisition 201: Wisdom consists of the anticipation of costs and consequences.
Rule of Acquisition 202: The justification for profit is profit.
Rule of Acquisition 203: New customers are like razor-toothed gree worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.
Rule of Acquisition 204: It takes a Ferengi to cheat a Ferengi.
Rule of Acquisition 205: Trust can be expensive.
Rule of Acquisition 206: Distrust can be expensive.
Rule of Acquisition 207: Sense without education is better than education without sense.
Rule of Acquisition 208: Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than the question is an answer.
Rule of Acquisition 209: To many lobes spoil the deal.
Rule of Acquisition 210: Always be smarter than the people you hire.
Rule of Acquisition 211: Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don’t hesitate to step on them.
Rule of Acquisition 212: Stay neutral in conflicts so that you can sell supplies to both sides
Rule of Acquisition 212: A good lie is easier to believe than the truth.
Rule of Acquisition 214: Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach.
Rule of Acquisition 215: Profit may not bring happiness, but there is no happiness without profit.
Rule of Acquisition 216: Never gamble with an empath.
Rule of Acquisition 217: You can’t free a fish from water.
Rule of Acquisition 218: Always know what you’re buying.
Rule of Acquisition 219: Possession is eleven-tenths of the law!
Rule of Acquisition 220: Listen what they say while watching what they do.
Rule of Acquisition 221: Computers can only give you the answers.
Rule of Acquisition 222: The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be believed.
Rule of Acquisition 223: Beware the man who doesn’t make time for oo-mox.
Rule of Acquisition 224: Listen to your lobes.
Rule of Acquisition 225: Always follow one step ahead.
Rule of Acquisition 226: Learn the language; translators malfunction.
Rule of Acquisition 227: If that’s what’s written, then that’s what’s written.
Rule of Acquisition 228: Bid high and bid often.
Rule of Acquisition 229: Latinum lasts longer than lust.
Rule of Acquisition 230: If they’re smarter than you, make them a lesser partner.
Rule of Acquisition 231: There’s a customer born every minute; be sure you’re the first to find each one.
Rule of Acquisition 232: Deal only with select clientele. (Those who are rich and not so bright.)
Rule of Acquisition 233: Latinum doesn’t grow on trees.
Rule of Acquisition 234: There’s nothing wrong with a good delusion.
Rule of Acquisition 235: Duck; death is tall.
Rule of Acquisition 236: You can’t buy fate.
Rule of Acquisition 237: It’s good to want things, especially things you can’t have.
Rule of Acquisition 238: How I handle my business is none of yours.
Rule of Acquisition 239: Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
Rule of Acquisition 240: Time, like Latinum, is a highly limited commodity.
Rule of Acquisition 241: Never trust a hardworking employee.
Rule of Acquisition 242: More is good. All is better.
Rule of Acquisition 243: The more good will you can generate, the longer your customers stay.
Rule of Acquisition 244: Because something’s priceless doesn’t mean it’s not worthless.
Rule of Acquisition 245: Benevolence is 50/50.
Rule of Acquisition 246: Innocence is expensive.
Rule of Acquisition 247: Don’t negotiate with the underlings.
Rule of Acquisition 248: Profit is in the details.
Rule of Acquisition 249: Once it’s sold stop selling.
Rule of Acquisition 250: Precious things are for those that can prize them.
Rule of Acquisition 251: Don’t miss the opportunity by grabbing at the shadow.
Rule of Acquisition 252: Little steps may prove great profit.
Rule of Acquisition 253: Synthehol is the lubricant of choice for a customer’s stuck purse.
Rule of Acquisition 254: Better a fat slave than to starve free.
Rule of Acquisition 255: A wife is a luxury… a smart accountant a necessity.
Rule of Acquisition 256: Accountants do not play the game; they only keep the score.
Rule of Acquisition 257: When the messenger comes to appropriate your profits, kill the messenger.
Rule of Acquisition 258: A slip in the hand is better than a bar in sight.
Rule of Acquisition 259: Wealth not yours might well as not exist.
Rule of Acquisition 260: Life’s not fair. How else would you turn a profit?
Rule of Acquisition 261: A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
Rule of Acquisition 262: A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.
Rule of Acquisition 263: Never let doubt interfere with your lust for latinum.
Rule of Acquisition 264: Distrust interested advice.
Rule of Acquisition 265: The customer is always right… until you get their Latinum.
Rule of Acquisition 266: When in doubt, lie.
Rule of Acquisition 267: If you believe it, they believe it.
Rule of Acquisition 268: Hold on to what you have, but plan for future luck.
Rule of Acquisition 269: Trying to please an enemy makes you the loser every time.
Rule of Acquisition 270: In business deals, a disruptor can be almost as important as a calculator.
Rule of Acquisition 271: What we want is not always the most profitable.
Rule of Acquisition 272: Think twice before leaping once.
Rule of Acquisition 273: Don’t waste your breath arguing with a Klingon; save it for the running you may have to do.
Rule of Acquisition 274: Consider your next transaction while counting your Latinum.
Rule of Acquisition 275: Foolish investment based on foolish advice is still foolish investment.
Rule of Acquisition 276: Overbooking is standard practice.
Rule of Acquisition 277: Anything worth fighting for is worth hiding from.
Rule of Acquisition 278: Appearances are deceptive. Dress above yourself.
Rule of Acquisition 279: Necessity knows no price.
Rule of Acquisition 280: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Rule of Acquisition 281: Greed cannot overreach itself.
Rule of Acquisition 282: The value of something is not in its use, but in its price.
Rule of Acquisition 283: An individual is smart, a group is not.
Rule of Acquisition 284: Deep down, everyone’s a Ferengi.
Rule of Acquisition 285: No good deed ever goes unpunished.

Now replace Latinum with Gold and Ferengi with you-know-what and you’ll have the complete answer to the question ‘how do they control the world today ?’.

This entry was posted in Mind Wars, Neutral Zone and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (complete) – [En]

  1. Radu says:

    Reblogged this on radupopescublog.

  2. Pingback: Updated Oxford Dictionary: Capigtalism | Overmind of Borg's Sector

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